Quasi-Settledom

So, it's been a while since my last post, and Sefra has kept his banded form this whole time. The one exception was when we visited the aquarium. He had fun trying out the shapes of all the different fish.

But we like this form. It's by no means permanent, but I think it will be stable for a while. I might think that it could be our settled form, but I still don't feel completely right with it. I love banded mongooses, but there's just something about them that doesn't feel like a perfect fit. I don't know what it is. Anyway, we're content for now.

I've also discovered that my closest cousin is also a dæmian. When we'd talked about it, I'd always assumed that dæmianism was something that interested her, but not much else. Now, though, she actually visualizes her dæmon and talks to him (though she still uses a name that I suggested for him when I was half asleep). So, I sent her some links to dæmon analyses, and she came up with a massive list of forms that, apparently, fit her. Obviously not settled. Malchior (or Malchoir to her) likes to be an oversized golden albino axolotl.

No Settlement for Me

Ok, ok. I'll admit that thinking that I was settled was a bit naïve. But, hey, it just goes to show what seven days on the Dæmon Forum can do to you.

So, Sef has gotten much better at trying different forms. It still scares us a bit that his personality changes with each new form. I guess it's all in ow we perceive the animal. Our favorite forms are still the grey cat and fish, but we've also been trying the Banded mongoose. Greylag goose is also a cool one. I love geese so much. He still doesn't like the idea of being as big as a bongo is, but there's one forum member who's convinced that that's what we are. We'll see.

I don't usually go to the zoo, but I want to go see the Banded mongooses. Apparently they have them at the zoo here. It would be great to see more than pictures.

Banded Mongoose

I think that my certainty of being settled has gone down. Of course, I may be, but I'm still young. Either way, it doesn't worry me. I can just go with the flow and enjoy trying different forms. I posted a Reverse Analysis on the Dæmon Forum, just for the hell of it, and actually came up with some cool results. One person said lion, but changed her mind, another suggested kudu or bongo, but most agreed that I sounded like a mongoose.

It's funny, because I told my cousin that she seemed mongoose-like to me, but we are really similar. I looked up the description for one of the more sociable mongooses, the Banded Mongoose. It's actually very accurate.


Able to live just fine in a fair range of conditions -Get lethargic in hot weather (...like most of the world, I suppose)
Don't seem to be real fond of the heat at all
Gregarious
You like crowds and being around other people NOT ALWAYS
Tend to follow/be part of a small, core group within the larger
Easily recognise your friends and know all about 'em
Hierarchal
Tend to respect people based on their age, assertiveness and presence
Get along well with children
Considered small, whether that be physically or otherwise (>3) NO
Distinctive, but strangers don't always have an immediately positive reaction towards you
Participate actively in wooing your loved one, whether you be male or female
Happy enough to make use of what's available to avoid extra work, but only if you think it's suitable
Like having company in difficult stages
Cooperate very well with your friends, happily sharing tasks and duties without complaint
Very careful and protective of things that matter to you, but you have good reason for it - you've had bad experiences with losses
Like to do a few things individually; need a little time alone every now and then
Like to poke and dig around and see what comes up
Tend to have a vaguely systematic work method
Not an aggressive person; you respect authority too much to cause trouble
Show a kind and caring attitude towards all people, regardless of differences
Strong sense of community
Prefer to flee when sensing danger, but if that's not possible then you immediately turn to your friends for assistance
Like to keep in contact with your mates, even over long distances
Nomadic, like travelling; you like change in general, really, though you will often return to old favourites
Not terribly subtle; will often take the strong, straight-on approach if that will get you what you want SORT OF
Careful nature, and like to make sure everything is safe

Changeling

I've been reading that some people's dæmons are definitely settled, but still change form, even for long periods of time. I'd love for Sef to change form sometimes, so I've been trying to make him. He's ok about it, sort of, but it still feels weird. It doesn't feel like Sef. Maye it's because he's only ever been Sef as one of two types of cats. He's been a fish in the bathtub before, and that was ok, but we weren't being serious about it. I really don't know what I mean by that.

I'd like him to be able to change so that I can visualize him more often. Running up stairs with a slow little kitty isn't so convenient. And Sef's default pose is lying with his paws curled in front of him. He doesn't like to move much. But we've tried out a few forms. Actually, they've all been grey. Maybe that's some kind of subconscious effort on my part to help him feel more comfortable as more things. We've tried our fish (a little silver one with some kind of spot on its side), a Hooded crow (black with grey, and one we know well), a shikra once or twice, and a grey goose. The goose is the one that he freaks out least as.

I should probably stop pushing him, the poor guy. If we're both comfortable with a cat, then we can stay like that. But you can't go swimming with a little fluffball.

Writing Exercises

Lots of people talk about writing out conversations with their dæmons, but I actually never have until now. I always thought, while I would have loved to, that Sef wouldn’t be able to vocalize enough to have a conversation in words, as opposed to feeling. Once again, though, he’s proven me wrong. Turns out Sef does have a lot to say.

I think this latest conversation (typed out on MS Notepad) was the first time that he called me by my name, too. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’m always the one talking, and he seldom has to get my attention, so there was never a time when he needed or had much opportunity to say my name. I don’t know why, but that really got me. I was close to tears. Maybe I’m PMSing, or something.

Family's Dæmons

I've tried to lay a finger on my family's dæmons for years. I think I have most of them down (the most important ones, anyway), it's difficult to tell.

Mom- my mom's dæmon would be some kind of canine. I'm thinking domestic, but I'm still not sure. Probably a light reddish color with ears that stand up. Something like a red husky.

Dad- a type of owl, one of the brown ones.

Cousin (my age)- probably a mongoose, or stoat.

Cousin (a year younger)- unsettled. Leaning towards parrot, maybe.

Oma- a pig. She just loves pigs, and even if she doesn't fit the typical pig "type", I think that's what her dæmon would be.

Opa- some type of bird. Probably owl as well.

Uncle (Dad's side)- owl, I should say.

Uncle (Mom's side, younger)- domestic dog? Pitty or something scary.

Aunt (Mom's side)- a groundhog, or something similar.

Aunt (Dad's side)- something pretty and calming, like a rabbit, or a loon.

Siberian Cat Analysis

I found this analysis of a Siberian cat (the closest I could find to Sef) on http://ex.antique-white.org/analyses/index.php?title=Main_Page. I have no idea what the name of that would be. Anyway, maybe I’ll have to change my opinion somewhat on form analysis. I’ve put a big, bad NO next to all the things that do not apply.

Intelligent and bold
You learn things quickly and are very good at problem solving and using your initiative
Soft and gentle with others NO
Quite playful
Sociable and very socially confident
Love attention
You express your affection to others physically NO
You're very vocal with your thoughts
Very affectionate and loyal to others
Definitely not shy
Very protective of those you love
You're easily liked by others and even people who don't like cats enjoy being in your presence
You prefer the cold
You like water a lot and enjoy playing with it
You like to share
Very adaptable
You are very expressive with your emotions
You tend to have bursts of energy when doing tasks
You have an appearance/air of strength and power but you also appear as quite gentle
You took longer than most to mature and gain independence but you've become very independent in later years NO
You love it very much when others go out of their way to do something to satisfy your wishes
You are normally unaffected by the day-to-day problems of others NO
You openly let others know when you're happy
Very agile NO
Deliberate, not rash
Almost never in a rush
Generally calm, collected
Very loyal to your friends
Very intelligent, but not necessarily known for it
Perceptive of others' feelings and emotions
Have a whimsical, playful nature
Like to tease others
Values are deeply rooted
Don't say much, but when you do, others listen
Are able to influence your friends according to your values
Give the impression that you've achieved an inner peace
Have immense inner strength
Pay a certain amount of attention to appearance - not obsessed with looking good
Try to present yourself to your best advantage
Good listener
Like to see a thing through, don't abandon projects halfway NO
Very capable of expressing feelings and emotions

Based on this, I seem pretty bubbly, which is only the case in certain social circles. Anyway, most of it, as you can see, Sef and I find right. Pretty cool. So maybe the analysis for grey mackerel DMH (shelter slang for Domestic Medium Hair) would be just like me. We’ll have to make one.

Thoughts on Form

Many daemians are of the opinion that a daemon’s form has some symbolic and definitive meaning as to the daemian’s character. Now, I wouldn’t shoot that argument down entirely. There is, I’m sure, a reason why an introvert’s daemon is a dove, rather than a peacock. But can you really tell so much about a person by examining their daemon?

Animals, themselves, don’t have human personalities. Each species, of course, has its own characteristics and habits that may lend to a perception of a collective personality (except in the case of a sponge), but this is incredibly general. Each individual of the species, if the specie’s development is enough to allow it, has its own distinctive personality, just like humans do.

Can you, then, to assign a personality type to a type of animal? Given, a gorilla will be much more violent than a hedgehog, but a silverback male will generally be more violent than a female member of his herd.

So I guess I have an opinion in the middle of two views on symbolism. A cat fits me for several reasons: independence, spontaneity, loyalty, expression. But, then again, cats are so different. No two are alike, as any cat owner could tell you. So then, what is the point in comparing me to the personality of Sef’s form when there can be no definitive personality.

Maybe it’s easier to generalize with wild animals, who haven’t been made more human by a domestic setting. Domestic cats, now, have no habitat. They may be living in a posh penthouse, or in a dumpster. Maybe that has something to do with my inability to pin their “personality” down. Or maybe it’s just that I’m too much of a realist about animals to get caught up in that. Who knows?

Personalities

Sef and I took the Jungian personality tests, and the results came out just as expected. I'm the "counselor", INFJ, while Sef is the "mastermind", INTJ. My dad's an INTJ, too.

For those of you not familiar with Jung's personality system, mine stands for "Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging" while Sef's is "Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging".

Picture of Pseudo-Sef

I was browsing petfinder.com (as I often do when bored), and I decided to look for a picture of a cat who looks sort of like Sefra. Here's what I found, it's actually a lot like him, but his eyes are greener than the cat in the picture's. Maybe I'll photoshop it, or something.

Sefra: In Five Letters

And so, we come to the timeless question; What's in a name?

Sef's settled form (or what I take it to be, he agrees) is that of a grey-striped house cat. Medium fur, whitish chest and belly, dark-grey stripes on a medium-grey coat, green eyes. Nothing big, nothing that says SHAZZAM! Just Sef as he is and will be. For a few hours as he was settling he was a deep faun Somali, but that didn't seem to work well enough. Sefra, as a name, goes better with the Somali, though, I think.

You'd think a name like Sefra would go with some exotic Ancient Egyptian temple cat, who got mummified and then dipped in gold and jewels. But he's just my Sef. So, considering that, I have no idea why he's Sef.

He's watching the mockingbirds land on the garden fencing, now. There's a pair of them that lives along our walk home. They sing most of the day, but when the chicks were hatched they screamed quite impressively. And now they're forming a conspiracy with the starlings to eat all of our tomatoes.

I've been a great fan of Ancient Egypt since I was seven or so, and I made Sef a cartouche online.

Sefra's Human

Well, here I am: Sefra's Human. I've (or we've) been inspired by all the dæmian's blogs out there and, as I've found writing to be the best way to express myself, have decided to make one for myself and Sef.

So, some history. The question of when I "discovered" Sef is a tough one. Of course, like any kid with an over-active imagination, I had scores of imaginary friends. As I don't have any siblings, they were some of my only playmates. I honestly can't remember many of them, and I'm pretty sure that most of them weren't animals. As the daughter of a die-hard animal rights activist, it was always clear to me that animals were very different from human friends. Of course, I had imaginary pets, along with the dozens of real ones, but it wasn't until I read Pullman that I had anyone like the conventional daemon.

When I was in my Pullman craze (sometime in late Elementary school), my dæmon's name was Roger, and he was a butter-colored mouse. I suppose that the idea of a dæmon has always appealed to me so much, even when I didn't really take them seriously, because of the allure of a more human animal. An animal that had all of the elements of an animal, but could talk to you, and call you by your name, and tell you that they loved you by doing more than wagging their tale or blinking just so.

Thus was I introduced to dæmons. Of course, back then it was only a kid's game to me, not a real projection of my subconscious. But it was still fascinating, probably the most fascinating thing I'd come across since Tolkien and C.S. Lewis.

I had a totem phase, too, and several attempts to settle my dæmon. That's what I call them now. I think I really started talking to "Roger" again just before the "Golden Compass" movie came out. I had started reading "His Dark Materials" again and was, once again, enraptured by the idea of the dæmon.

Maybe it was that I was more mature and Sef had already settled, but it became more real to me. Even when I was a kid, Roger wasn't real in some back corner of my head. Maybe Sef still isn't all the way real to me, now. All I know is that he makes me feel whole. I know it sounds corny and fake, but I'm totally at ease when I'm talking to him. No more worrying about how I appear to people or how I look, or any of those things that we, as human, inherently must worry about. I just feel like me, exactly as I want me to be.