Sefra's Human

Well, here I am: Sefra's Human. I've (or we've) been inspired by all the dæmian's blogs out there and, as I've found writing to be the best way to express myself, have decided to make one for myself and Sef.

So, some history. The question of when I "discovered" Sef is a tough one. Of course, like any kid with an over-active imagination, I had scores of imaginary friends. As I don't have any siblings, they were some of my only playmates. I honestly can't remember many of them, and I'm pretty sure that most of them weren't animals. As the daughter of a die-hard animal rights activist, it was always clear to me that animals were very different from human friends. Of course, I had imaginary pets, along with the dozens of real ones, but it wasn't until I read Pullman that I had anyone like the conventional daemon.

When I was in my Pullman craze (sometime in late Elementary school), my dæmon's name was Roger, and he was a butter-colored mouse. I suppose that the idea of a dæmon has always appealed to me so much, even when I didn't really take them seriously, because of the allure of a more human animal. An animal that had all of the elements of an animal, but could talk to you, and call you by your name, and tell you that they loved you by doing more than wagging their tale or blinking just so.

Thus was I introduced to dæmons. Of course, back then it was only a kid's game to me, not a real projection of my subconscious. But it was still fascinating, probably the most fascinating thing I'd come across since Tolkien and C.S. Lewis.

I had a totem phase, too, and several attempts to settle my dæmon. That's what I call them now. I think I really started talking to "Roger" again just before the "Golden Compass" movie came out. I had started reading "His Dark Materials" again and was, once again, enraptured by the idea of the dæmon.

Maybe it was that I was more mature and Sef had already settled, but it became more real to me. Even when I was a kid, Roger wasn't real in some back corner of my head. Maybe Sef still isn't all the way real to me, now. All I know is that he makes me feel whole. I know it sounds corny and fake, but I'm totally at ease when I'm talking to him. No more worrying about how I appear to people or how I look, or any of those things that we, as human, inherently must worry about. I just feel like me, exactly as I want me to be.